The blunt honest truth of it.
A letter to pregnant mamas, from me, a postpartum education and care professional, before babe arrives. It’s the honest truth, in (sometimes) nitty gritty detail.
This post may contain affiliate links and I may earn a small commission when you click on the links, at no additional cost to you. You can read my full disclaimer in Website Terms & Conditions.
Me, 38 weeks pregnant with my little, holding my big.
Hey New Mama,
After supporting beautiful families over the last few years, my own postpartum experiences and those of friends and family, I’ve learned a lot, and here, I’ve collected my Top Tips for navigating the early days and weeks after your beautiful babe arrives with the hope that this doesn’t scare you but prepares you so there’s as few surprises as possible.
There’s a lot here, and it jumps around a bit, but at the end of the day my biggest advice is to stay calm, relax and go with the flow, Bub will let you know exactly what they need, you just gotta look for the signs.
Jersey wraps like these from Halcyon Nights, and swaddle suits when they’re a bit older, will be your best friend. Get the big wraps and wrap babe tight. In my experience, it’s rare that a baby doesn’t like being wrapped. A lot of bubs will protest initially, but then they totally relax into it. They’re so immobile in your tummy and have a startle reflex (the Moro reflex) which, once they’re out, goes off like a frog in a sock - if you can keep bub wrapped tight, warm and well fed, life will be so much easier.
Bonds zippy’s are amazing for newbies especially for their two-way zips and fold over mittens and socks, as are the Bonds singlets that clip under the bum - it stops the singlet riding up.
Make sure for you, you have high waisted undies - in case you have a C-sec. The Bonds Cottontails Full Brief with Lycra are tight and super comfy and they also hold the maternity pads in place nicely. Don’t be afraid of the Depends or Tena Incontinence Pants for those early days/weeks too, they double as a perfect pad holder AND a backup in case your pelvic floor just won’t do what you need it to. Another option that’s gaining popularity is ModiBodi and they’ve recently released a postpartum range specifically for lochia - check in with your midwife or caregiver about the best time to use this type of underwear.
If you’re planning to breastfeed, make sure you’ve got plenty of feeding singlets and bras, in a couple of sizes as you’ll inflate and deflate quicker than you realise and you don’t wanna be caught short in too small or too big. I liked the Kmart and Bonds nursing bras and singlets, but for something a bit prettier you can’t go past Bimby and Roy. You’ll also need breast pads coz I hate to say it but a lot of mama’s leak from everywhere – I personally love the Rite-Aid Nursing pads they can absorb a lot and are moisture wicking, keeping you feeling dry. There are lots of washable bamboo options now too, such as these from The Memo.
Soft gel ice packs (like these from Body Ice) will help the discomfort when your milk comes in and can ease symptoms with mastitis - read up on this so you can recognise the symptoms quickly coz it can be a real bitch and needs to be addressed ASAP - sometimes it can come on so quick that your only option is to take antibiotics. It’s not the end of the world if this happens. The advice has recently changed regarding how to manage mastitis. Your Two Jugs are an awesome source of information and advice, they also offer a couple of masterclasses to help you identify and start managing symptoms quickly.
Your nipples may feel like razorblades for a few days - I’m sorry, but I’m just being honest. Hydrogel medicated nipple pads feel incredible and are very soothing and aid healing. Keep them in the fridge for extra relief, just don’t use them with any nipple creams or balms, use one or the other.
A relatively new product on the market are silverettes. I haven’t used them myself, but I’ve heard some great reviews and know that silver is a very powerful healing agent.
Be mindful with how long you are leaving these, or any breast coverings, in place, there have been some instances of skin damage around the nipple or on breast tissue caused by prolonged exposure to moisture eg breast milk held in silverettes or dampness with reusable breast pads.
Side note. If you choose not to breastfeed don’t let anyone make you feel anything less than a super mum. You need to do what is right for you and your family, and if that means stopping breastfeeding or topping up with formula, then be confident and seek support if you feel you need it. And regardless if you had a vaginal or C-sec birth, you have just BIRTHED a human. Whether bub comes out the sunroof or the cellar so long as they, and you, are healthy is the ultimate goal. If you feel any low or negative feelings around your birth experience, please reach out and we can debrief.
Hydration is super important and you’ll be super thirsty. A big drink bottle that you can open single handed is key, everyone who books one of my packages receive of these ones from Frank Green. Bump n Bub teamed up with Franjos Kitchen to make an amazing Motherhood Hydration Powder to support you through pregnancy, labour and postpartum.
Nourishment is also important to help you heal and recover, and rebuild your strength. You might find you can’t quite stomach anything too heavy or harder to digest for the first week or two, so eat small, regularly meals throughout the day that are gentle on your digestion but packed with goodness. Things like a simple fried rice or sweet rice pudding can be popped in the fridge and dished out as you want through the day.
Make sure you plan in advance someone to prepare meals and snacks for you - like a postpartum doula! Don’t forget I also offer a Fill Your Freezer session before bub arrives to stock up your freezer with delicious, nourishing homemade meals and snacks for postpartum.
Button down PJs or those that are designed with breastfeeding in mind (like these ones from Halcyon Nights) are the best for in hospital and lazy days at home, you can keep warm and just unbutton as needed. Also it can be really cold in the hospital so long warm socks are a must, as are thongs in case your feet swell.
Learn what the baby cues are at each age/ stage and look for them in bub. Doing this makes your lives so much easier knowing that when bub’s movements start getting jerky it’s time to wrap up for sleep, pronto; or if babe is looking around mouthing the air, or sucking their hands, it’s feed time. These little cues can be super subtle but they’re there and real and they tell you what you need to know.
After a vaginal birth, regular pads (no wings) with a dollop of aloe vera, 2 tbsp of witch hazel and a drop of lavender, frozen in the freezer are a godsend for your lady bits (aka padsicles). As they defrost, they start to feel a bit icky and gross so toss it when they reach that point, but they will be doing all good things while they’re cold. A peri spray (like the one in my New Mama Welcome Pack) is great for promoting healing and soothing swollen and inflamed lady parts, and can also be used on c-sec scars once the dressings come off.
Postpartum Peri Spray and Oil Blends by Beyond Baby Doula
Everyone will pass judgement and give you an opinion. It’s a full-on time in your life - accept as much help as you can, but don’t worry about accepting everyone’s advice, especially if it doesn’t feel right. Trust your instincts, always.
Two things to keep in mind…
The 2nd or 3rd day feeding cluster. If you’re breastfeeding, bub won't sleep well for about 24-48hrs and will only want to feed feed feed. They’re bringing your milk down, it won’t be forever, sleep when you can but be prepared for minimal sleep. If you’re still in hospital, don’t hesitate to call the midwife at 4am if you haven't slept, you can grab a couple of hours rest while they give bub cuddles coz your boobs will look like road maps and you’ll feel like you’re getting the flu. Take some panadol, stock the freezer with ice packs, sleep and when you wake up, hello Dolly Partons.
The baby blues. There will be a time in that first week where you will get the blues - you feel like absolute crap, you will cry, and get super upset over nothing! Totally normal and it will pass. It’s very manageable when you expect it.
But. If you feel like the blues are lasting longer than a week or so, I want you to call someone and talk it through - me, a friend or family member, your midwife, your GP, the Gidget Foundation, anyone you trust; please, just call.
Birth is full on, and you don’t really get a recovery time - you don’t sleep and you have a human to look after. The first 12 weeks are crazy but I promise it gets easier and things settle down. Sleep gets longer and bub will start interacting with you and your partner.
Enjoy the downtime, outsource as much cooking and cleaning as you can - engage a postpartum doula if you can - and just enjoy the newborn goodness and time with your new family.
Good luck beautiful mama, and if you need anything at all don’t hesitate to reach out.
~ Dani xx